I've met a goal. And it feels good. It was two weeks later than I'd hoped, but still, I met it. I am officially in the 170's, and thinking on a bit this morning, I know I've mention that I hadn't been 185 since before I had my first child almost 5 years ago, but I don't think I've seen the 170's since the first year I got married. And we're going on 7 1/2 years. If my memory serves me correct I weighed about 160 when I got married, but settling into wedded bliss had me gaining those wonderful pounds pretty quickly. I know it's not a huge accomplishment, but since January I've lost almost 20 pounds and that sounds pretty impressive to me.
In thinking about weight loss the last couple days I had a thought. My thought was the statement people say often after they lose a lot of weight: "I can't believe I weight X amount of pounds for so long". And the truth is, I can believe it. And I'll tell you why. I was content to be that. And I knew how much hard work it would take to lose it and I wasn't really ready to take on that challenge. I can believe I stayed in the 190's for so long after having 2 children because I had an excuse "I've had 2 children, of course I have extra weight on me". But the real truth is, is I knew how much hard work it would take to get it off and wasn't willing to give up my cake and sweets and soda and junk food because food makes me happy. Which led me to have to change my perspective on food. I wrote about that previously about not starving myself and eating less, which, I guess, has worked. But I'll tell you, the exercise is the hardest part.
I've told my husband quite a few times in this journey that I dread going jogging, but, that I feel great after I go. So, why do I have to force myself to go? I shouldn't have to, if I end up feeling so good in the end. But I think my body knows the hard work it's going to have to put out to get that weight off, and although it feels better in the end, it's still hard work. I'm about 6 weeks into the couch to 5k program, I'm up to jogging 17 minutes, and that's quite an accomplishment for me. I'm proud to say that I can jog over a mile and a half. It's been hard work. I'm still wondering how on earth I'm going to be able to jog 30 minutes in the end, but each day prepares me for that.
But even while jogging I deal with self-doubt and giving up. I call him "the little green monster", he's my name for any self doubt I've ever had, whether it's in exercise or just in believing in myself to get through life and the hard times. I find that he surfaces while running and tells me things like "you've jogged far enough, 5 minutes is a great time" or "you're tired, just take a break and walk" when it's not my time to walk yet. He's not always negative, in fact he frequently praises me in all the wrong places to get me to do less work than I want to. I'm working to get past his constant pestering to do less than the goals I set for myself. I know I can. But he's pretty persuasive.
It's hard, but I know I can do it.
2 comments:
20 pounds since January is impressive! Good job. And running a mile and a half! That's incredible. You'd think I'd have tried Couch to 5k by now, but no. I still can't run very far. It was a lot of years before I finally started loving to work out. But even now, it's sometimes hard to get me there. The post-high workout eventually got to be addictive, and it's easier to get out there than it used to be.
What I really love is that you're doing all of this so wisely! You're changing little things that add up to big changes. Things that are possible to continue to do, so keeping the weight off won't be as hard. Have you taken measurements? That's very motivating to me, too.
See you soon!
You are AWESOME Kay! You go girl! It takes a lot for someone to just say, "I am going to do it" and actually do it! You have always looked awesome, but I am sure you feel awesome and look even better! We hope to see you guys sometime in the near future!
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